Why 3-Steps Everyone Uses to Navigate Obstacles Prevents Trauma

Updated: Apr 24

“What social justice could learn from preventing growing pains”


As parents, we're responsible for steering our children the best way we can. Our goal is to help them become independent, successful adults. Yet, that’s not always easy. It’s especially hard during a pandemic or with a lack of perspective. Or, when all the media spotlights are focused on traumatic events. After all, kids don't come with instruction manuals, and we can’t turn them on and off like a computer. Parents and children have to roll with whatever. So, we need practical views to go with these flows and do our best along the way with them (or even sometimes against them). Below and at the follow video link are 3-Steps that parent and leaders everywhere are using to prevent growing pains during an unprecedented time.


Parents as Team Leaders
Parents as Team Leaders

The truth is that sometimes children don't have the experience needed to handle their obstacles. Which can get on the nerves of some parents more than it should. No matter if our lovely children don't want to do their Math homework, go to school, or listen to us. All teams and relationships go through weird but normal phases.

In organizational leadership, they call it these phases of building a good performing team: Forming, storming, norming, and performing. The forming phase is basic guidance. Storming is learning to work together towards a shared purpose. The norming phase begins a process of functional commitments to goals. And performing is when all the team members operate well with other with little oversight. Even in corporations, a good performance is the last phase of several weird phases. So, as a family unit, our job is to love our children through all these normal phases in growing to ensure that they can get through every obstacle together that comes our way.




Two common complaints that most parents have is that children won’t get out of bed in the morning and they take too much time getting ready for school. It takes too long for these family performances to “form.” Parents and kids need to prepare their clothes, their backpacks, ensure that they eat breakfast, brush their teeth, wipe their faces, and finally leave home in time. But parents also want to give more responsibility to their kids. So, they give them tasks. But these never seem to be completed. Or, at least, is what we might think.

How Parents and Children Get Past Obstacles Together

Children, as we know, are all different. and there's no one right way to do most things. We have to listen to our hearts and plan accordingly. However, no matter what phase your child is in right now, there are some things you should consider doing that will help your children grow naturally past obstacles.


Look at the big picture