Life Winks®

Updated: Apr 6, 2020

"Assured family connections"

From right to left, Denis Durham, Evan Durham, and Ellie Durham in the middle.

It was a cool Monday morning at Fairview Park in Decatur, Illinois. Although Ellie or Evan probably could've told this story much better than I, most people would have to agree that this is a rare find. We call them "Life Winks."

Puppy dogs, as you might imagine, get separate from their parents all the time. Whether it's a little husky dog separated from its mom, or a little wiener dog separated from its dad, disconnections happen. But in the legal world, some people are calling them "death winks" because they are usually "unretractable," or permanent (Lebow and Slesinger, 2016).

A squirrel hiding a nut.

When one parent wants to keep a puppy away from the other parent, then these are done deals because they'll usually end up having all the help in the world keeping the puppy away and detracted. People recklessly come out of the woodwork like squirrels desperately hiding a nut and bury the pup away. So, what makes this one case unique and different from all the others? What makes it a "life wink?"

We asked one of the parents in this case about how they got through the very difficult time in his life without seeing his pups. We asked him, "What got you through it? He said simply, "Just my faith and hoping for the future. And sometimes, when I did see them, hoping for that."

We can only imagine what it's like missing your pups in this way. I think what he meant was that by seeing the puppies on occasion in various places was what he looked forward to.

In the mean time, kids will be kids....

Ellie and Evan playing hide and go seek.

Maybe you've had a similar experience? Maybe you've experienced an end-game "death wink" or discovered a new "life wink" yourself? Please share in the comments below. Or, keep hiding those nuts.

Jacob's Ladder

A community resource and private practice of enlightening kids.

"Life Winks"

A development from CLU's top-secret SPN (safer private network)


Lebow, J., & Slesinger, N. (2016). Family therapy with families in intractable conflicts about child custody and visitation. In Handbook of child custody (pp. 291-301). Springer, Cham.

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We hope you never have to feel the Clean Law difference, but vertical gaps between judges and children, horizontal differences between opposing case law party conduits, situational differences in perspectives, and longitudinal time pinches hurt us all because statistics show that these children are more susceptible to behavior problems, drugs, alcohol, early teen pregnancies, incarcerations, etc.  (Who wouldn't try to escape those realities?) 


Hurt people tend to hurt people. Systems comply. This is channeled by conventional "adult fighting files." A very restrictive of "family" law v. law justice. But Clean Law is different. It's the only family law with organic open access to unadulterated United States Constitutional Bill of Rights ultra safety family / social enterprise model.  


People used to feel rejected and pressed without cause to bleed all over other each other. Even silently on the littlest children involved. Those who'll never have a seat at the table of decisions. And bigger and bigger money goes to paying bigger and bigger squeezers. Worse than David v. Goliath with David inside a blender and Goliath pushing all the buttons. Don't be left outside the dots and withdrawn. Be included, connect the dots, and full-draw your serendipity organically instead.

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